SO...what IS an Alternative Parent?

Interestingly, it depends who you are talking to. When I am speaking to parents who are complaining about our local, crappy school, who are mourning their horrible hospital birth, or are wishing they had had more support while trying to breastfeed...the term "alternative" often prompts these parents to look at me quizzically and say; "Alternative options? What do you mean?"

When I am in the company of a mother nursing her toddler, or another homeschooling parent, or chatting with strangers at one of the local farmers' markets...the word alternative has already been visited and acted upon. I am in the midst of people who saw the possibility of something different, and decided to act on it.

I am no fan of Jeff Foxworthy, but his beat-to-death comic topic "You might be a redneck" offers up a logical opportunity to modify this line to:

"You might be an alternative parent, if..."

During pregnancy, began questioning the logic of tossing your helpless six week old infant into an industrial daycare center.

During pregnancy, decided to go and check out a certified nurse midwife, rather than an OBGYN. You further ventured into checking out the closest birthing center, and even secretly googled "home birth".

You checked out every possible book about breastfeeding. After having the baby and dealing with all the inept hospital personnel, you ran as fast as you could to your local La Leche League meeting. At that meeting you got recommendations not only for the midwife you should have had, but also the Certified Lactation Educator you didn't have access to in the first place.

You flat out refused to circumcise your son.

In order to avoid an episiotomy, you and your husband learned how to non-erotically massage an area of your body you never imagined massaging (non-erotically, that it is).

In order to avoid being induced, you and your husband had lots of sex when you felt not only very un-sexy, but actually felt like a beached whale. And played with your nipples to the point of distraction.

You asked your OB/midwife to save the placenta...then stored it in the freezer to later be buried at some undisclosed location.

Yeah, that just might make you an "alternative parent"!

Stay tuned for more of what makes you an alternative parent.